Are You Headed for a Disaster?

Many women marry the man of their dreams, only to find that he's a living nightmare with a violent temper and an abusive streak.

When starting a new relationship, don't be so starry-eyed that you fail to recognize the obvious traits of an abusive personality. Remember that you don't have to become black and blue to be abused. If you answer "yes" to the majority of questions below, turn to a counselor for help before the relationship turns on you.

	He has a family history of abuse--he was physically or psychologically abused as a child, or his mother was battered by his father.
	He has a violent streak or temper that's out of proportion to the incident in question.
	He is basically contemptuous of women.
	He has a fetish for guns or other weapons, and claims he keeps them around to protect himself from others.
	He uses drugs.
	He commits acts of violence against objects and things rather than people.
	He drinks excessively.
	He displays unusual jealousy and possessiveness when you're not with him.
	He questions you about time spent away from him.
	He becomes enraged when you don't listen to his advice.
	He has a dual personality. One minute he's cruel and critical; the next minute he's kind and loving.
	His emotions are in overdrive. When he's angry, he's a madman who's consumed by rage. When he's in a loving mood, he lavishes you with candy, flowers and gifts.
	His anger so frightens you that you try hard not to make him angry.
	He considers himself a macho man.
	You sense that you're being treated abusively.
	He's not above pushing or shoving you around when he's angry.
	He's rough during lovemaking, or has physically forced himself on you when you weren't really in the mood.
	He's extremely critical of you.
	He demands to know where you are at every waking moment.
	He's had a string of unsuccessful relationships or marriages.
	He has very low self-esteem.
	He believes all the myths about battering.
	He holds traditional family values and feels that women are the "weaker"sex.
	He believes in male supremacy and stereotypical masculine sex role in the family.
	He is bisexual.
	He doesn't believe his violent behavior should have negative consequences.
	He has an unusual relationship with his mother, which borders on love-hate.
	Most people think he's a real charmer.
	He tries to control your life--what you do, whom you see, and what you think.
	He frequently uses violent language and calls you obscene names.

If you answered "yes" to five or more of the above questions, you may be in over your head--a victim or soon-to-be-victim of battering. While these tendencies are certainly not definite signs that a man is a batterer, they indicate that he has the potential to become one. Don't take chances with your life and health. Get help now and avoid getting caught in the vicious CYCLE OF ABUSE.